Coming Out at Such a Tender Age

Coming out is a long road.  In reality, we come out again and again throughout our lives, whenever we start a new job, or join a new group.

This Youtube video is a must watch. I cried — in a good way — that (s)he could come out as transgender at 8 yrs old:

I came out to my parents at 14 years old, which is the youngest I have heard within my particular lesbian circle of friends. (And in Oklahoma!)  But in some ways I had it easy, my mom found my girlfriend’s love letter to me, which she believes I “accidentally on purpose left out” for her to find. Many people were supportive, others were not, and when I came out to my entire school several years later, I was bullied quite badly.  A teacher who hadn’t taught me, but could see how difficult it was for me because she saw people taunting me in the halls, approached me and said “I just want you to know I support you.”  That meant the world!

I came out in the 80s. Apparently today new records are being set for the age kids are coming out.  But there are still many of us struggling, and sometimes coming out later in life is even more difficult.  Think about it, you’ve been living a certain way for so long so it’s going to be that much more difficult for you to get used to seeing yourself in this new light (or new identity),  and for your family and friends to see you differently.  When we come out, we have to be patient with the people we come out to — we have lived with this news awhile and we must give them the same amount of time in some cases to get used to it.  Many will surprise us and accept it right away.

What is your latest Coming Out Story?  Who do you still want to come out to but you haven’t yet mustered the courage?  How do you plan to do it?

Whatever way you do it, make sure you’re ready and have the proper support.  Finding some type of community whenever possible can be a good first step.

Write in the comment box below!  I want to hear from you.

Published by


40-something lesbian life coach, living in Brooklyn.

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